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Posts from the ‘Personal’ Category

15
Oct

Personal Reflection: Exhaustion, Politics & Faith

I have had a rough time over the past few months. I have been working a lot of hours so this all probably boils down to working too much and getting burned out, but it has caused me to reflect on a lot of issues which have newly manifested since I commissioned. As I have said in other posts, I am a Christian and this post will contain many of my own personal beliefs. If my beliefs offend you, feel free to tune out now.


Daniel 6: The Plot Against Daniel

My pastor recently preached a message from Daniel 6, and in my Bible it is titled The Plot Against Daniel. Lately, I feel like everyone around me is plotting against someone else. We have a billion Lieutenants in my squadron and everyone is constantly moving around to different positions. If someone is slotted for a position they don’t want, someone is probably plotting to get that person back to where they want them to be. Sometimes it is the person, sometimes it is the person’s supervisor, or sometimes it is someone else with a vested interest. For me personally, it is exhausting. I have witnessed first-hand what some people will do to get what they want. I have also witnessed what back-stabbing can look like, and it disgusts me. The purpose of this post is not to dissuade you from joining the Air Force or the 13S career field, it is to give you an idea of what you can expect once you join. In my opinion stuff like this is a reality and will never go away, but knowing what to expect and how to deal with it can be the key to maintaining a positive attitude and making it through unscathed. Also note this may look very different in the 13S career field vs. other career fields.

Daniel 6: 1-3: Excellence

6 It pleased Darius to set over the kingdom one hundred and twenty satraps, to be over the whole kingdom; 2 and over these, three governors, of whom Daniel was one, that the satraps might give account to them, so that the king would suffer no loss. 3 Then this Daniel distinguished himself above the governors and satraps, because an excellent spirit was in him; and the king gave thought to setting him over the whole realm.

This is the third or fourth time in the past few months that I have seen references to the Air Force Core Values in the Bible. “An excellent spirit” was in Daniel, and that caused him to stand out among his peers. Daniel 1-5 tells us the story of how Daniel was taken from his home and how he became a top adviser to King Nebuchadnezzar and Belshazzar of Babylon. Now that Babylon had fallen, Daniel was placed in a position of authority once again for the new kingdom under King Darius.

I don’t think it was an accident that Daniel continued to be recognized through different regime changes. There was something about Daniel that caused him to be successful and respected by multiple rulers. How many Obama Administration advisers are still employed at the White House under President Trump? I believe Daniel was good at what he did. I believe he was intelligent, wise, and loyal to his beliefs. I believe he lived his life and tried to be excellent in all that he did, and he was recognized for doing so.

Daniel 6: 4-5: Integrity

4 So the governors and satraps sought to find some charge against Daniel concerning the kingdom; but they could find no charge or fault, because he was faithful; nor was there any error or fault found in him. 5 Then these men said, “We shall not find any charge against this Daniel unless we find it against him concerning the law of his God.”

One area I have been struggling with is finding my identity as an officer vs. a NCO or SNCO. After the first 18 months I decided to stick with what I was good at which was keeping my head low and doing my job well. That was my strategy for the previous 10 years and it always served me well, I was eventually recognized for my work and commissioning through OTS just fell into place. However, minor differences with being an officer have really thrown me off. For example, I always just kept a few close personal friends and kept everyone else at arms-length. Professionally I knew and related to everyone, but off-duty I focused more on my family and those few close friends. As a TSgt this worked out because there were never very many other NCOs who wanted to hang out. Now, there are a billion other Lieutenants in my squadron so I find myself being invited to tons of social gatherings. Now that I have started my masters, I have even less time to maintain relationships with more people. This all may sound very silly, but it marks a fairly large change in my life, and the lives of my family.

Another change is the political posturing that everyone is doing right now. I never worried about what my next job would be because my supervisors always set up my path for me. As an officer this is still the case for my own career, but now I have to start thinking about my subordinates. If I want them to succeed I have to play the game on their behalf. I didn’t realize this before, but I would say about 80% of an officers path is set up by their superiors. This percentage is much higher than I initially expected. If a young Lieutenant has missed an opportunity, it is likely because his or her superior didn’t get involved in the politics early enough, or didn’t work with the right people.

The fact that the governors and satraps could find no charge or fault in Daniel speaks volumes about Daniels integrity to his own beliefs. As an officer I have realized I need to maintain integrity not only to my own beliefs, but to who I am. Just because I am invited to a social event doesn’t mean I have to attend. If attending it isn’t ‘me’, then I should stay true to who I really am and do what ‘I’ want to do. Similarly, sometimes how I play the political game doesn’t feel like ‘me’ doing what I would normally do, so I should do it my way. Unfortunately, it isn’t as black and white as this. As an officer I am being molded into something new so the definition of ‘me’ is changing. So how in the world am I supposed to stay true to who I am? To be honest, I have no idea. I hope to blog about this as I figure it out. As of now I plan to start by staying true to my beliefs and trying to consider in advance who I want to be. Hopefully by starting there I can maintain control of the type of officer I become.

Daniel 6: 10: Confidence

10 Now when Daniel knew that the writing was signed, he went home. And in his upper room, with his windows open toward Jerusalem, he knelt down on his knees three times that day, and prayed and gave thanks before his God, as was his custom since early days.

One thing that was drilled into me since Day 1 of OTS was the word confidence.  No matter what you did as a cadet, they were looking for you to do it with confidence.  If you had no idea what you were doing, it wasn’t quite as bad (most of the time) if you did it with confidence.  The expression “fake it till you make it” comes to mind.  I haven’t fully explored how this looks as an officer, but off the top of my head I think there is value in being a confident leader, but it is more important to know what you are doing.  In the post I did about my “18 Month Update,” Click Here, I talk about how in my opinion we as Lieutenants should spend as much time as possible building up a foundation of operator knowledge.  Confidence is obtained through this knowledge, and at the end of the day you will be a much better leader if you can have true confidence vs. faked confidence.  There will be times where you will need to blindly charge ahead with confidence, but in my opinion that time should not occur while we are Company Grade Officers.

Despite the targeted training and cliche of confidence, I have found becoming an officer has actually shaken my own personal confidence.  As a TSgt I had a lot of time to get comfortable, become an expert, and become extremely good at it.  Everything moved slower because there was no major rush for us to move on to the next thing.  Through this stability, by the time I had to make decisions I 100% knew what I was doing.  There was no shaking my confidence because I had the experience to make well informed decisions and stand by them.  As a 13S my job is constantly changing.  I start crew as an operator then there are rumors that I may move, but no-one will tell me where.  Finally I get a quasi official notification that I will switch flights and do a different job, but no-body can tell me when.  After it is all sorted out and I am trained the slot I’m supposed to fill is suddenly critically manned, and I needed to be certified two weeks ago.  Even if you are on the more routine path of an operator, things move fast.  You are expected to be an expert from Day 1 and be ready for the next thing a week later.  If you aren’t, you are behind the power curve.  It is easy for me as a prior enlisted officer, but I don’t know how anyone else without that foundation of experience can truly keep up.

On a more personal note, it is hard to explain how this lack of stability affects my confidence.  I think some of it is my personality because I am a person of routine and order.  Taking away that may seem minor, but not having a minor thing you are accustomed to can start you off limping.  It just shakes me up a little bit before I even get started, which causes me to take longer to get comfortable.  More practically, my stress level is elevated.  I am sometimes more distracted when around my family the day before I go back to work.  I have never had a problem with my temper before, but now there are times when I slightly lose my cool.  I have always been very methodical and careful about how I choose my words, but now I often find myself regretting minor things I say.

Trust

Another thing which messes me up is with my trust of those I work with.  I am an extremely good judge of character so once I know you, I know if you are someone I can trust.  While I was enlisted once I knew my coworkers that trust never had to change, it was very black and white based on the person.  Either you were one of the good ones that I trusted, or you weren’t.  As an officer, the political piece plays a larger role.  It is much more difficult to have a blanket list of people you trust, or people you don’t.  Now there are people you can trust with certain things but can’t trust with other things.  Now there may be someone that you can trust outside of work and you can be best buddies with, but at work you have to watch yourself because they may stab you in the back.  Some people you may think you can trust, but later they will reveal more cards and you aren’t so sure.  This all makes life very exhausting.  It shakes my confidence because if there is something that needs to get done, you aren’t always sure who you can go to for help.  Sometimes you have to go to people you don’t really trust, then you have to think through the implications.  I am getting good at this game, but I hate that I have to play it.

Tying it all Together

The reason this passage spoke to me is because Daniel thought he could trust the king.  The king liked Daniel, and he was so impressed with Daniel’s work that he put him in charge of the entire kingdom.  After his jealous co-workers out-maneuvered him and spoke to the king behind his back, he was required to either betray his beliefs and rituals of his faith or face certain death.  Despite being out-maneuvered he didn’t despair, he confidently faced reality and accepted certain death by boldly and confidently continuing to pray.  The rest of Daniel 6 (verses 18-28) explains how God miraculously saves Daniel in the lion’s den and how Daniel continued to prosper.

Conclusion

I am pretty exhausted at the moment, and the new environment of officership is shaking what I used to rely on; the consistency and routine of life.  Now that I am continuously being pushed past my limits, I am forced to fall back on whatever I have left which is who I am:  my faith and my family.  For me, falling back on my faith means re-calibrating my routines.  I can no longer ignore the fact that I need to set aside personal time of prayer and reflection with God reading His word and reflecting on what He is telling me to do.  Through that new routine I will find the strength to continue on this journey of officership and with leading my family through life.  I am truly grateful that I am being asked to grow in this way.

25
Jul

18 Month Update

Busy, Busy, Busy

It has been 18 months since I commissioned, and it has been a wild ride.  I have been waiting for life to calm down and be “normal” again, but I am beginning to realize that being busy is the new normal.  I think this is the nature of the game.  I miss the comfort of enlisted life, but at the same time I know I am becoming a more seasoned leader and am being pushed past where my previous boundaries existed.  I believe the degree of success you achieve as an officer will be measured by how well you can conquer the chaos, and how well you inspire the people around you to more effectively accomplish the mission.  As of now I am still trying to conquer the chaos.

Over the past 18 months I have realized I am in a 24/7/365 battle of balance.  When I was in training the Air Force asked a lot from me; I had to maintain my relationships with my family while fulfilling and exceeding my responsibilities as an Airman.  My Airman responsibilities evolved from being a Cadet at OTS, to being a student in tech school, to becoming an expert in my space system (we call them weapon systems).  Once I mastered one duty position I was asked to master another one.  After I master the second one, I will be asked to master a third.

There is a “track” we are expected to follow and there is a constant pressure to be moving upward through this track.  There is more of an emphasis on my career and whether or not I am staying on track, and less of an emphasis on the mission.  I honestly think this is a fundamental flaw of the system.  The flaw is not the existence of the track, but the emphasis.  Instead of focusing on which officer is excelling most and who is ready for the next step, we should focus on which mission related positions needs to be filled and which officer would be the best fit.

“Leadership”

I was chatting with one of the Lieutenants in my squadron and he was asking for my advice about the track he was on.  There were rumors that he was being looked at to be promoted from the basic operator job to a more advanced/technical position.  In the space ops world we all start with some version of satellite operator, which is the basic level certification.  Some of us operate the bus of the satellite (the brain, power, and associated guts), and some of us work with a specific payload (component responsible for the mission).  For our first duty position, it is crucially important that we understand the technical aspects of our job.  As a brand new operator we aren’t expected to lead, we are expected to be “weapon system experts.”  Once we know how to operate our system nominally (space lingo for normally), we are expected to know how we can leverage our system to more effectively deliver combat effects downrange.  Later in our career we will transition to higher levels of leadership, but this is our ONE opportunity to have a technical-operator foundation.  I can’t say this enough, it is crucial for us to have this depth of technical-operator experience.  This experience will be our foundation as we advance to future leadership positions.  In my opinion, truly outstanding officers will be able to have a depth of technical experience in multiple systems.  Remind me and I will blog about the depth and breadth debate.

The fundamental flaw of many failed leaders in our Air Force is that they fake their way through the foundation phase of their career and fallback on the tag word of leadership.  I’m not saying leadership isn’t important, because it is crucial.  But in my opinion the core of a good leader in our Air Force is a person who can have a genuine connection with people.  This leader has to truly understand the challenges that we as Airmen face, and should have spent the years prior to being designated as “leader” figuring out how to deal with and eliminate those challenges.  The only way to do this as a 13S is to spend time on the system, i.e., “in the trenches,” dealing with the challenges of being a space operator.  If you as a space operator ever feel like you are a second class citizen, or everything you do isn’t important to the rest of your squadron, your leadership has forgotten where they came from or has likely never spent an extended amount of time in the trenches.  Don’t be this type of leader, and always remember that the squadron should be “ops focused.”

I attempted to explain this to the Lieutenant in my squadron and his response was, “Yeah but that is a more technical job, and isn’t really leadership based.”  He was missing the point, and this is something I want you guys to get.  He was succumbing to the upward pull of tag word “leadership.”  He was allowing the political pull to draw him away from his technical contribution to the mission.  In his defense, he was an academy grad and he had spent four years of his life living and breathing political Air Force leadership.

Commissioning Sources

The other thing that I have learned over the past 18 months is what I have coined “locked in experience.”  It has been difficult to find my place as an officer.  As a MSgt select my peers were seasoned NCOs or SNCOs.  Most had families but we had all been around a while.  We knew how the Air Force game worked and we had figured out how to play it well but still have a life outside of the Air Force.  Now, that peer group doesn’t look at me the same.  I am an officer, someone who crossed over to the dark side and there is a level of mistrust behind their eyes.  Some feel threatened by me or some just naturally put up a wall.  It is minute, but it is there.  I’m not saying it is everyone, but this is a subtle thing I have picked up by many.  Heck, maybe it is all in my head.  Even if it is in my head and it is a superficial barrier, doesn’t it still exist?  It is something to think about as you start your own journey.

If I can’t relate to who my peers were, maybe I can relate to who my peers are now.  There are three categories of officers; academy graduates, ROTC graduates, and those who commissioned through OTS.  95% of the officers I work with are academy or ROTC graduates, which means almost all of the Lieutenants are in their mid 20’s.  I am 30 so that alone creates a huge gap between us.  They are just figuring out how to live life outside of college, and I have been earning stripes and fighting the fight for 11 years.  They are dating or newly married, I have been married for a decade.  We are in completely different stages of life.

When I first commissioned and started spending time around the other Lieutenants, it was difficult because I looked at other Lieutenants like kids.  They acted similar to new A1Cs or Senior Airmen (from a NCO/SNCO perspective) but it threw me off because they were extremely intelligent and seemed better educated than I was.  That may sound terrible, but remember that I started in Security Forces where the enlistment requirements were different and education wasn’t actively pursued by all.  It took me a long time, probably almost 18 months, to learn that I indeed respected them.  Learning how I respected them was revolutionary to my perspective as an officer.  At first I thought I had to fit in with them, but over time I realized we are just on different paths.  My path involved 11 years of Air Force experience, and their path provided them with surface level Air Force experience concurrent with outstanding educations.  At the end of the day, we just bring different things to the table.

As we all began to traverse our paths through our new officer careers, I began to notice the very distinct differences between how we operated.  Academy grads have a tendency to take an indifferent approach to tackling challenges.  When faced with a task, their eyes glaze over and they try to find the easiest way to complete the task while still delivering most of what the boss is looking for.  ROTC grads attack the task eagerly, but they don’t have a lot of experience so they tend to take a hands-off approach and let the NCOs do their thing.  OTS grads are all over the place, it really depends on the person.  Understanding an OTS graduates’ methods often requires analysis at the next level; prior and non-prior enlisted experience.

Locked in Experience

At first it was easy for me to lump myself in the OTS prior-enlisted category, but the more I did, the more I realized I didn’t fit into that category either.  I am not just prior enlisted, I am a prior enlisted [essentially] SNCO.  I had spent 11 years developing into the SNCO the Air Force wanted me to be.  I know how to relate to Airmen “in the trenches,” I naturally try to mentor and mold young Lieutenants into outstanding future leaders, and I started playing the Air Force game while my peers were in high school (or earlier).  When I commissioned, this experience was “locked in” for me and I started a new path as an officer.  My experience didn’t go away, it shaped who I was when I started this officer journey.  It is evident because I still try to take care of the Airmen, and try to help my fellow Lieutenants figure out the Air Force game.

There are other prior enlisted officers who crossed over as Senior Airmen or Staff Sergeants.  They enjoy the Air Force life, and they have a more eager and optimistic view of the Air Force.  They are good at their job and think they can change the world.  When they crossed over, their SrA/SSgt experience was “locked in,” and they began their journey as officers.  Their experience didn’t go away, but it is evident in how they lead their people and perform ops on the floor.

This theory can also be seen from officers who re-trained from different career fields like Misileers or prior maintainers.  It also applies to ROTC and academy grads, except their “locked in” experience includes four years of Air Force academy BS or four years of civilian college with the Air Force sprinkled in.  I believe this is why ROTC graduates are better rounded leaders as they begin their officer careers, because they already had to juggle life outside of the Air Force while doing the Air Force thing.

The fascinating thing is that we will never develop past where we were before.  I will always be a SNCO at the heart.  Prior SrA/SSgt’s will always be prior SrA/SSgt’s, and fresh ROTC/Academy graduates will have a more academic perspective.  Regardless of where we started or what experience we had in the past, we all start our commissioned journey at the same time.  We all commissioned at the same time, will promote at the same time, and will compete for the same jobs.  As commissioned officers we will all develop together, and start being molded into the officers the Air Force wants us to be.

Tying it All Together

I bring this up in an attempt to illustrate the importance of experience.  There is nothing we can do about our life prior to commissioning, but as brand new Lieutenants this is our one chance to build experience going forward.  The officer track moves very quickly, probably 3-4 times faster than our enlisted counterparts.  We are expected to hit the ground running and accelerate through the many years of our career.  Due to the intensity of our tracks, it is crucial that we spend our time as operators developing into tactical, knowledgeable system experts.  If we don’t do it now, we will never have a chance to go back and do it over again.

10
Oct

Year in Review – Finally Starting My New Career

The other day I realized it has already been one year since I left for OTS.  I can’t believe it!  I would love to say this past year was a cakewalk and that I leisurely strolled through the transition, but the truth is that it was one of the more challenging years of my life.  This isn’t a bad thing because making major life changes always requires effort, but it definitely wasn’t easy.  At the end of the day (or year in this case), I would say this year burned off a lot of impurities in my life and with who I am, and I have become a more defined, refined person.

One of the hardest parts of this past year was pulling my family through the transition with me.  Moving your family from one location to another is an obvious challenge, but what I didn’t anticipate was the toll of change.  After OTS instead of having a defined path ahead of me like other career fields, the 13S path was highly uncertain.  Upon graduating from OTS I didn’t know when I would go to tech school (even roughly), what my operational unit would be even though I was stationed at the base, or what training would be required after tech school.  There were times when I didn’t even know what to expect within a given week.  I didn’t realize this until after it was over, but this year of chaos and uncertainty raised my baseline level of stress.  This is probably more of a personality thing for me, but not knowing what to expect raised my stress level a few notches above my normal threshold.  Add in the normal stresses of finding a place to live, training, evaluations, and debriefs, and I became an extremely stressed out version of myself.  My temper was shorter, I could not focus on the task at hand as well, and every challenge in my life seemed like an insurmountable feat.

I have dealt with my fair share of stress in my previous career fields, so I was extremely grateful that my wife was particularly understanding.  I think the hardest part for our family was translating the changes to my kids.  My kids are still young so this isn’t something you can really talk about, it is instead something they sense.  When something changes they pick up on it and react in their own way.  I love my kids so I found myself spending more and more time with them in an effort to offset how much I was gone or how I was always busy.  This took away more of my time to get things done, which in turn added to my stress level.  This is still something I am struggling with today.

As I continued to progress through all of my training, I started to think that this would be the new norm of becoming an officer.  I recall seeing seasoned CGO’s and above always walking around like they were late and never seeing their family, and I began to fear that this was already the reality for me.  Since my family means so much to me, this was one of my greatest fears.  There is no way I will be able to adequately explain this to you all, but the day I was finally certified on my system and finished with training, the entire weight of the past year was lifted off of my shoulders.  I was finally able to breathe because I knew I had transitioned from the operational Air Force, through training (OTS, tech school, etc.) and back to the operational Air Force.  It took me an entire year but I finally did it!  This is when commissioning became a reality for me.

Despite the stress and the challenges, I am glad I decided to pursue a commission.  My enlisted assignments were new and exciting for a short period, but I would quickly settle in to the new missions and routines.  For me personally, the space career field is the perfect balance between a technical and managerial career.  As Security Forces I became very good at what the Air Force calls Command and Control, which is managing a situation with lots of moving pieces from a higher vantage point.  While I was comm I learned that I have a technical mind and while I do not enjoy the most technical aspects of coding or programming, I strive to learn the processes and how they fit into the bigger picture.  My current assignment in space is a blend of both.  We command satellites to perform their mission but we also have to understand that they are technical machines with complex logical relationships.

But it is even more than that for me.  I originally thought commissioning would be a continuation of my Air Force career, but now I know that it is the beginning of my career as an officer.  The experience I gained from my enlisted career directly correlates with everything I do as an officer, but I now recognize that my enlisted career is over.  When I commissioned I closed out that period of my life, packaged it up into the foundation of who I am today, and am now starting a brand new career with new and exciting adventures ahead of me.  I feel like I am literally starting a new life and career but this time I know where I want to go and what I want to do.  It is an amazing opportunity!

15
Apr

My Vision – Why I Do What I Do

Background
OTS was somewhat of a spur-of-the-moment decision for me.  I had thought about commissioning when I was an Airman, but it took me a long time to grow and mature as a leader to become what I now see as ready to become an officer.  Every step of my career, even more so as an Airman, helped me tremendously as I progressed through my career.  Looking back, I now know that commissioning was more than just a career decision for me.  Commissioning was a calling.  There is a religious aspect of this which plays a large part of my story which I will share below.
When I was an Airman I wanted to commission through a program called AECP (which no longer exists).  Through this program after you finished your first year of college, if selected, you would be promoted to E-5 and get paid to finish your bachelor’s degree full-time at a university of your choice.  After you were done you went to OTS and came out the other side as a lieutenant.  It was a great program because your job in the AF was to finish your degree.  I PCSd overseas prior finishing my first year of college so I did not get a chance to apply.  For whatever reason I decided it would be better to just finish my degree and separate from the Air Force.  After I finished my degree a long list of events in my life led me to what became my final enlisted stateside assignment.  From there I decided to apply for OTS and I was accepted my first time!
Religious Perspective
 
I am a Christian and everything I do in my life (especially major life decisions) revolves around the foundation of my beliefs and my faith to my religion.  If hearing my perspective on this offends or does not interest you, feel free to stop reading here.

My First Enlisted Assignment

I said above that commissioning was a spur of the moment decision for me, and that was true.  What is also true is how much I grew and matured between when I initially considered commissioning to when I actually commissioned.  I am a Christian and I live my life always trusting that God knows what is best for me.  I have always liked this approach because it means I literally do not have to worry about any major decisions in my life.  The way I see it, I live my life day to day and if a life changing opportunity comes along which I want to pursue, I pursue it until God closes the door.  I also believe that it is God who brings all of those opportunities to me (opens all of the doors).
I believe God is the one who initially led me to consider commissioning when I was an Airman.  I of course don’t know all of the reasons why I was led to pursue a commission then PCS, but one of the big things it did was motivate me to start my bachelor’s degree.  While I was at my first base I started my degree right around the same time I finished my first year of school.  At the same time I could have applied for AECP, I also received my overseas assignment.  This prevented me from pursuing the idea further because I had to finish ALS, PCS, then become certified in my AFSC.

My Second Enlisted Assignment

I married my wife prior to departing my first assignment, so my second assignment was when we first started to explore the world together (literally).  While I was there I was an Area Supervisor on a Security Forces flight which is the person in charge of around 20 Airmen who are performing on-duty Security Forces responsibilities.  I was also the NCOIC in one of the back shops of a wing-level program.  I still plugged away at my degree, but I kind of forgot about commissioning.  However, those two jobs taught me a ton of leadership lessons which I know helped me get selected for OTS.  Being an Area Supervisor helped me learn how to take care of Airman, and helped me to see what it means to support the mission from the “front lines.”  Being the NCOIC of that program helped me understand how every mission on the wing fits into the larger wing mission, and it gave me experience working with commanders and writing policy.
While I was there doing all of these things, I felt my calling change from my Security Forces jobs to learning more about computers and the IT field.  I decided my next career move would be to separate from the Air Force after my time overseas and join the private sector working with IT.  I started researching how to get a civilian job and I attended all of the separation briefings to include an excellent Transition Assistance Program (TAP, week-long seminar/course).  This was key because it taught me how to write resumes, and what organizations look for when they consider hiring someone.  Since applying for OTS is essentially a job interview, I was able to directly apply this knowledge to my OTS application.  There is no doubt in my mind that the knowledge I gained there played a huge role in my being accepted.
My Third Enlisted Assignment

While I was in the midst of this decision I received a Security Forces assignment to a less desirable base overseas.  I believe God did this because as I began to research my options after getting the assignment, I realized I was eligible to retrain to a different career field if I applied within the next three days.  Since the comm career field had openings, I went ahead and applied because it aligned with my aspirations in IT.  Sure enough I was accepted to retrain into comm (3D0X2) and I extended my service commitment another two years.  This solved a lot of problems with my original plan to separate because it gave me IT training (tech school,) and also moved me to the states where it would be easier to find a civilian job.
I PCSd to my first comm assignment and went to tech school prior to starting my job.  My new job supported a high-level operations mission in the joint environment.  This helped me see how the Air Force directly supports the warfighter and I learned the ins and outs of working with combatant commands.  Despite working with such an awesome mission, I still continued my plan of getting free IT training and separating after my service commitment was finished.  This was a difficult decision because it would have put me to 14 years, but it was what I wanted to do and nothing was stopping me.

How Everything Changed

After I made that tough decision I continued to charge forward with my plan.  My mind was set and I had my plan even though my separation date was still a few years out.  One day while at church, out of nowhere God spoke directly to my heart and told me to apply for OTS.  Any time God speaks to me it is a very complex message, but He essentially told His purpose for my life was to be an officer.  He showed me in what I can only really describe as a vision that I was to lead others as an officer in the USAF.  This was not just the next step in my life, but it was THE REASON I was placed on this world.  The amazing thing was that all of this information and vision only took seconds for me to receive, but it was immediately something that I knew was true.  It was a powerful experience.

I was very surprised at this new direction, but I went ahead and started doing research on my commissioning options.  Through my research I learned the timing was just about perfect.  This was in August and the deadline for the next OTS application board was the following January.  This is when I started my journey toward commissioning.  As I began to reflect on what God was telling me to do, I realized my experience with the above missions made for a very powerful OTS application.  People from all points of my career came out of the woodwork and helped me with key parts.  My application was indeed extremely powerful.  My record was so powerful that I was also selected for E-7 despite it only being my first time testing.  Sure enough, I was selected for OTS as well on my first try and I left for and completed OTS a few months later.

Reflecting on OTS

One of the biggest things I learned about myself at OTS was that the person I had grown to become completely matched what the Air Force considered a natural leader and a model officer.  While at OTS God told me that I was made to be an officer.  There is no doubt in my mind that He has me on the fast-track to do whatever it is He wants me to do.  I am really excited as I watch this unfold.  I have only been commissioned a few months now but I have already had more opportunities than most other officers in my shoes.  It is amazing to be used by God!
My Calling and Vision for this Blog

Part of what I believe I have been called to do is help others commission through OTS.  This blog was a natural use of my skills, and I know through feedback that I have already helped a ton of people with their application and preparation for OTS.  God is using this blog, and I know He will continue to do so.

I have only been commissioned a short time, but I am already picking up on a need for information on officer promotions, assignments, and other subjects which most officers are typically on their own for.  I plan to make different posts to newly commissioned CGOs on some of the things they should be thinking about in their first few years.  In short, I plan to let this blog evolve and follow me as I progress through my own Air Force journey.  I think this will ultimately improve the baseline of the Air Force’s newly commissioned officer corps, and make the Air Force a better place for all.

Conclusion

Regardless of my religious beliefs, I hope you all know that I genuinely care for you all.  Over the years I have heard many commander’s or senior enlisted personnel say similar things, but I want you to know that it is completely true for me.  I do not know my readers but I put this information out there because I want you to succeed.  If you reach out to me to thank me or ask for one-on-one advice like many do, I DO remember you and make an honest effort to help you however I can.  I always appreciate feedback and I love to help people out, so never hesitate to contact me.  My email address is in the title of my blog.  Good luck to all of you as you begin or continue your own journey!

27
Mar

Officer Education – Culture and Career Development

Officer Education – It’s Cool, (and Almost Expected) to Be Educated

“You are officers, you are grownups, you ought to know!” – Eugene Roe, Band of Brothers

Ever since I was selected for OTS I found myself spending more time with officers.  I am not sure if this was a deliberate or unconscious decision on my part, but regardless I started to notice minute differences between the officer and enlisted culture.  One of the first things I noticed is a clear difference in education between officers and enlisted.  Of course officers have a bachelor’s degree but so do a lot of enlisted, so I thought it was just a nominal difference.  The more time I spent with officers, the more I realized I was wrong.  Officers don’t just have an education or bachelor’s degree, they use it.  I alluded to this when I talked about spending time with my classmates, but this is something I noticed time and time again with almost every officer.  It didn’t matter what their field was or what we were talking about, but their education boiled into every other aspect of their life.  On the enlisted side, I found a lot of enlisted members just got the degree to check the block.  To be honest, this may be the reason I ended up getting my degree.  I may have only completed my degree because I thought it would be a good thing to do.  I can honestly say I wasn’t 100% committed to making myself better or applying everything I learned in college to making myself a better person, I just knew the degree would help me later down the road.

Now that I am an officer it is clear this method of thinking has to stop.  It is not cool to be an uneducated officer.  Sometimes I felt like as an enlisted member such thinking was accepted or even the norm.  To take this to the next level, I now realize everything I do should be for the purpose of making myself smarter, more informed, and more educated.  It doesn’t matter if it is to satisfy a mere curiosity or if it will help me with my job.  I now have a desire to want to learn more and make myself better, which is something my public school education didn’t teach me in high school.  It is a shame it took me almost thirty years to figure this out.  Imagine how much more I would know if I would have adopted this attitude when I was a teenager.

Here is a real world observation which helped me formulate my opinion on this.  After I commissioned I realized if I was in a group of 12 officers the group would likely have a solid foundation of education across almost every domain.  While I was in tech school it was not abnormal to overhear conversations about Genghis Khan, engineering fundamentals, or geopolitics.  I arrived at tech school with zero knowledge of orbital mechanics so I was struggling in the course, but it was review for the academy grads.  I could go into detail about my major and how it related to my career field, or how my degree related to my classmates, but that is not my intent.  My intent in telling you this is to emphasize that education is important.  I am not saying it is important to have a degree, I am saying it is important to learn while you are completing your degree.  Allow the knowledge to mold you as a person into someone who is smarter and better prepared to tackle the world of challenges ahead of you.

Another thing to think about as you prepare for your career as an officer is to focus on having a broad or diverse foundation of education.  I would say my education is very focused on business and information technology.  This knowledge does not necessarily help me as I start a career in Space Operations.  While addressing MBA students at Carnegie Mellon University, Brig Gen Gina M. Grosso (now Lt Gen) talked about how she believed she had a foundation of intellect.  At her level she often felt like she didn’t have enough time to make tough decisions but her education allowed her to have a stronger foundation to fall back on leading to better decisions.  Here is the link, it is a great discussion.

Take some time to reflect on this.  What is your current foundation of education or intellect?  How diverse is this foundation?  What type of knowledge will help you in the immediate future?  As you advance through your career, what type of knowledge will likely help you a few steps down the road?  Lt Gen Grosso’s advice really helped me with deciding which direction to go for my master’s.

The quote I opened with is a perfect summary of what I am trying to convey in this post.  As officers, I believe we are expected to be educated on any subject we are confronted with.  Eugene Roe chided Capt Winters and Lt Welsh because they did not know or adhere to the proper procedures for administering morphine.  I think having a diverse foundation of education will help us all make the best decisions when confronted with any situation in the future.  Our continuous challenge should be to prepare for the future by creating and building upon this foundation.

27
Mar

Redefining My Identity – Adapting to the Officer Culture

Adapting to the Officer Culture

I have been commissioned now for three months.  Life as an officer has been much different than I expected.  It is amazing how much of your identity is tied into your rank, especially after serving as enlisted for so many years.  As I progressed from one enlisted rank to the next, I was treated differently.  The differences were subtle but it was something I clearly picked up on while in the situation.  It was likely so subtle that outsiders may not have even noticed it.  As a prior you might have experienced this before but you may not have realized it.

In general the differences can be summed up by my perceived knowledge and experience both with my job and with the Air Force.  Over the years while I was enlisted I became accustomed to what I will call a spectrum of treated behavior.  This spectrum taught me how I could behave and what I could say and do based on my perceived knowledge and experience from others.  The spectrum was different for every grade.  Additionally, I started at one end of the spectrum and worked my way to the other end as I matured in that grade.  When I sewed on the next rank, I graduated to the next spectrum.  An example of all of this is how a MSgt has more freedom to stand up and fight for what is right for his people than a SSgt does.  The spectrum is what teaches him how much flexibility he has to do this.

As I moved from one grade to the next, I began to realize my success in each grade directly correlated to my ability to adapt to the current spectrum and prepare for the next.  In my opinion, the best Airmen (big “A” meaning all enlisted/officers in the Air Force) were the ones who were comfortable in the next grade spectrum beyond the one they were in.  This is slightly different than simply preparing for the next grade because the spectrum involves how you think and act, not just your capabilities and experience.

When I was preparing myself for commissioned life I expected to be treated differently, but I was not expecting it to shake my identity.  As a Master Sergeant select (or (M)Sgt, someone who is selected for promotion to Master Sergeant), my spectrum was known and I was comfortable.  I was well respected among my peers and confident that I could accomplish anything with my knowledge and experience.  Being a (M)Sgt also meant I was within the latter stage of the enlisted spectrum.  I honestly thought the 2d Lt spectrum combined with my experience would be very similar to being a (M)Sgt.  Here are some things I noticed in general which were different and caught me off guard.

Positional Respect

I knew academically there were two types of respect, but it is different when you experience it for yourself.  When I was first commissioned I was still high off the experience of OTS.  Professional Military Education (PME) has a way of not only making you feel like you can change the world, but that it is your sole purpose in life; your divine calling as part of service to the Air Force.  (For my non-prior readers, PME is the required Air Force training outlined for different ranks throughout your career.)  I’m not saying that isn’t true because it is, but PME changed my perspective of my role in the Air Force and caused me to overestimate my influence on the world.  I will talk more about this later.

When I showed up at my first base I immediately felt the difference with how I was treated.  People noticed the rank on my collar and I felt like I was immediately treated like more of an adult.  When I was enlisted I always felt like I was a number and treated accordingly; I sometimes felt as if I was just another drop in the bucket of someone’s to-do list.  As a lieutenant people went out of their way to show their respect for me, which honestly took me a while to get used to.  They showed this by saying “sir” and saluting, two things which seem very minor but make a huge difference.  I can see how this type of treatment can easily get to your head.  If anyone knows me or meets me in the future, please don’t let that happen to me.  This is what I consider positional respect.  Over time the luster of this type of respect began to wear off.  I began to realize it felt hollow.  In general people respected me but they were respecting my rank, not me as a person.  This leads me to the second type of respect.

Career Field Background

Before I dive into this one I need to remind you all that I am in a unique career field.  My career field is 13S Space Operations, and it is unique in that it is an “operator” career field but it is also non-rated.  We are the career field that operates the equipment used to maintain the Air Force’s many space missions.  Due to the nature of our missions our career field is kind of in between the world of non-rated officers such as Security Forces, Intel, PA, etc., and the rated operators such as the pilots, navigators, ABMs, RPAs.  This creates a very unique culture.  I would probably need to write an entire book about it to fully encompass how it is different.

One example of how we are different is that we operate the equipment side-by-side with our enlisted counterparts (1C6X1).  Our career field is about 50/50 officer to enlisted (this is an unofficial ratio), which means we have a unique leadership role in the lives of our Airmen.  Our role is much different than Security Forces or Logistics officers who are charged to lead sometimes over 100 Airmen.  Such units would have around 7-8 officers per squadron.  Our squadrons probably have 40-50.  This is a really long explanation to say that I am one of many officers in a training pipeline.  Since they can’t train us all at the same time, there is a lot of waiting involved.  While we are waiting they try to gainfully employ us and call such employment “casual status.”

Earned Respect

While I was in casual status I was tasked to assist one of the actual squadrons performing an ops mission.  This allowed me to get to know many members of the unit and gave me a feel for the operational culture of my career field, which is very different than the training pipeline culture.  As I did this I began to pick up on a different type of respect.  When people talked to me and realized I had a diverse foundation of knowledge, they began to realize I was not your average lieutenant.  I personally believe when they discovered this I had earned the other type of respect, which is what I consider earned respect.  This created another dynamic because it changed who I related to.  If I had started commissioned service when I enlisted I would likely be a Major now, so I found it easy to talk to Captains and Majors.  I worked in AFSPC where many of the Captains and Majors in my field also worked, so I shared many of the same experiences they had but from a different perspective.  Conversation came very easily, and I sensed mutual respect.

Conversely, I often found it difficult to relate to other lieutenants.  I was the only OTS graduate in my unit so I didn’t share that experience with anyone.  Besides, how long do you really want to reminisce about your initial accession training?  Since I graduated in December I also arrived at my base 4-6 months later than the ROTC and academy grads.  Due to the nature of my career field there was a huge backlog of lieutenants waiting for training, myself included.  I was in a weird in-between subculture and it was often difficult for me to find my comfort zone.

Redefining My Identity

To summarize this all, I found my “place” or “identity” in the Air Force strongly depended on who was around me.  When I was in casual status life was great because I was working in close proximity with seasoned and established officers.  I had my own office area so most people knew me as more than just lieutenant.  When I was in the training pipeline I was treated like just another lieutenant.  I was another person going through the training process and it was more difficult to stand out.  With my classmates in the pipeline my identity varied depending on the topic of discussion or who the discussions were with.  If we were talking about career mentorship or the Air Force in general, I had a wealth of knowledge and could often easily contribute to the conversation.  If the new lieutenants were talking about the academy or our class was covering topics which I had zero educational experience with, I felt like an outsider.  I will have to admit because I was so used to being in a comfort zone while enlisted, randomly feeling like an outsider really messed with my self-esteem and confidence.  Not serious by any means, but it was something which I did not expect to experience.

The last thing I want to mention is that my opinions and observations are my own.  I am writing in the midst of processing all of these experiences so over time my perspective may change.  My intent with sharing all of this with you is to help you get a raw and unedited view of what I am going through so you can begin to digest how my experiences can apply to your own life.  I encourage you to share your experiences with me, both similar and different.  If you would like I can even include it on my blog.  Thanks for reading!

9
Jan

My Vision for This Blog

Like it or not, the information posted on this blog is already outdated.  One of the things which surprised me about the officer corps is the level of flexibility an officer must have.  At any given time you could be dropped into a situation with little to no information and be presented with a problem you must immediately solve.  Officers are commonly called to a unit or a position which has not been formally established.  An officer must always be ready.  The purpose of OTS is to prepare you for these situations.  The training course is structured to require you to make decisions, react to unknown variables, and enable clear thinking in the midst of chaos.

The application requirements for OTS are constantly changing.  The rules for applying to OTS are determined by the Air Force Recruiting Service.  They are the ones who receive the quotas and use the regulations to ensure they are filled.  If they need to change the rules to make the process better or react to limitations, they are going to make the change.  As an OTS applicant, you MUST stay in touch with these changes.  I can give you as much advice as I want to on how I did things in 2015, but it will be up to you to compare my experience against the current guidelines to determine what is right for you.
The same applies to OTS.  At OTS the cadets are constantly presented with new challenges and are required to adapt to situations and overcome the challenges based on existing limitations.  The staff at OTS is no different.  The staff is going to make changes to the course as they go to keep up with the evolving demands of the cadets.  Additionally, the OTS staff itself changes from class to class.  Due to these circumstances and the nature of human beings, everyone’s experience at OTS will be unique.

My original vision for this blog was to provide future OTS applicants with line by line instructions on how to submit an application.  Due to the rapidly changing requirements, it is no longer feasible for me to do this.  The farther time progresses from when I submitted, the more outdated my advice will become.  That being said, some of my advice might be considered timeless.  The responsibility will lie with you to discern the difference and apply it accordingly.

When I attended OTS my vision then evolved into providing current information about my experience and my perspective of the different training challenges.  OTS forced me to forge some philosophical conclusions about how leadership applies to my life, and how my life can be used to benefit those around me.  This blog is a product of some of those conclusions.  My plan is to fully develop these conclusions for myself so I can lay them out in writing for you here.

I have several goals for this blog.  From a practical sense, I hope you get useful information from my posts.  I hope my posts can be used to provide you with both a perspective on what I went through or advice on specific major tasks.  On a deeper level, my goal is to use my OTS experiences to explain my mindset while navigating the course.  My ultimate goal in this is to help you develop leadership skills and conceptual understanding for yourself to a level beyond where I was at similar steps throughout the process.  This will give your leadership development a head start and enable you to either display the understanding the selection board is looking for in your application, or be a more effective officer when you enter commissioned service.

Don’t worry, I still plan to continue posting about my experience about OTS.  I also will make every attempt to keep the links and schedules updated, but will probably need your reminders.  Many of you may think this is a useless post, but at least for me, it is not.  I am passionate about helping others.  I am also passionate about mentorship and leadership, and I truly care for you all.  I want you to succeed and achieve what you have been called to achieve.  I am honored at the thought of even playing a tiny role whatever your path may be.  Thank you for reading and for your support.  I appreciate any of your comments about this post.

11
Jun

Why I Applied After 10 Years Active Duty Service

I was interested in obtaining an Air Force commission since I enlisted in 2004.  At the time I actually pursued the AECP program in which if selected you were promoted to SSgt to go to a college of your choosing, enroll in ROTC for 2-3 years, finish your Bachelor’s degree, and commission at the end all paid for by the USAF.  I don’t really have an answer for why I never applied.  I had to finish my first year of college to apply for the program and once I finished, commissioning just wasn’t a priority.  I was probably just happy I made SSgt because that was a large increase in responsibility from SrA, especially in Security Forces.

It was around that same time I received an assignment to Europe.  That was huge for me because it would be a fresh start at a new base as a brand new NCO.  Once I arrived in Europe I had a new set of job qualifications to do (cops have a lot of training requirements), and this ate up the first year of my assignment.  After that I focused on finishing my degree and again, commissioning just wasn’t a priority.  We also had our first child over there so life just got busy and I never applied.

While in Europe I was picked up for retraining into IT.  IT was my passion at the time so the thought of staying in for a few more years to let the Air Force train me to be a System Administrator (3D0X2) was a no-brainer.  I PCS’d, did the retraining thing, got into my job, and saw a different side of the Air Force.  Instead of standing on a flightline and supporting a mission I rarely saw, I directly supported comm for multiple operations centers and users of a strategic computer system.  I was part of a big mission and it was my first exposure to the operations (Ops) side of the Air Force.  Seeing this world from the inside is actually why I ended up choosing the Space Ops career field.

The down side of the 3D0X2 career field was the level of administrative responsibility I had.  In Security Forces as a SrA I was essentially an NCOIC of several different squadron level programs, and I won MAJCOM awards for how I ran them.  As a Security Forces SSgt I managed the security program for the entire wing while also running several other programs as additional duties.  To contrast, at my comm unit SNCOs ran all of the squadron level programs.  NCOs normally fulfilled flight level pieces of the overall squadron puzzle.  In order for me to even obtain to the administrative responsibility I had as a SrA, I would need to sew on MSgt in comm.  In order to jump beyond where I was at as a SSgt, I would need to make SMSgt in comm.  In short, I felt like the Air Force was holding me back.  My solution was to separate.  I was being recruited by the private sector and DoD contractors, so all I had to do was finish my contract with the AF.  I was prepared to separate at 14 years to do the job I wanted to do and have the level of responsibility I desired.

I considered commissioning again, but there were several things that kept me from pulling the trigger.  The biggest one was the lack of certainty with career field.  Once you commission you are slotted where the Air Force needs you.  If AF needs align with your choices, you might get lucky and get something on your list.  If not, you serve your time in a different field.  This scared me because I liked IT and didn’t want to change again.  Another uncertainty was deployments.  I made it ten years without a single deployment.  The longest I was away from my family was comm tech school.  My family is really important to me so the thought of leaving them for six months on, six months off was unbearable; especially since I then had two kids.  Nothing could compensate me enough to agree to that.  Lastly, I liked my location and I really didn’t want to move again.  So in my mind that settled it, the only option was to separate.  If I got lucky I could retire at 15 years through TERA (early retirement program), but I was ready to move on from the AF regardless.
This is where I may lose a lot of you, but it is still my story (and my blog) so I’m going to keep it real.  I am a Christian and I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ (which hopefully you will see how this works below).  One day about a year after I made up my mind to separate, I went to church and received a message directly from God.  He didn’t speak out loud, but I felt it in my heart and knew it was from Him.  His message was simple, apply for OTS.  He told me all of my concerns were non issues and His purpose for my life was to become an officer in the USAF.  He told me I would be able to reach and influence people in a way no-one else could, and this is why he placed me here on Earth.  I didn’t want to listen.  My mind was made up and another career in the AF was not part of my plan, but I knew I didn’t really have a choice.  Deep down I knew commissioning would be a better choice, and I actually had a sense of peace with the situation because God told me I didn’t need to worry about the three issues I identified above.  This would be the first time in my life where God clearly asked me to choose between my will or His.  My decision would very clearly define my priorities, and in my opinion it would also define my path for the rest of my life.  So in the end I chose to obey God’s direction and apply for OTS.  This is why I tell people I applied for OTS against my will.  If I had followed my will, I would be preparing for separation right now.  By following His, I was selected for OTS after my first time applying.  It is amazing to watch God’s plan unfold in my life.  It doesn’t always make sense at the time, but later in life I can look back and see how certain decisions or the path I was on fit into a bigger picture.
After I made my decision, I began the application process and it went extremely smooth.  I met with my commander to state my intentions and received full support from my entire chain of command.  I wish I could adequately explain how amazing it was that the application came together as easy as it did.  The timing was perfect.  People I worked with in the past came out of nowhere and helped me with different aspects of the application.  My personal statement lacked the perspective it needed and was written at the high school level.  A week before the application deadline a Lieutenant I used to work with breathed life into what I was trying to say and helped me raise my writing to the college level.  My applicant profile didn’t adequately explain the earlier half of my career.  One of my previous commanders called my cell phone the day before submission and helped me frame the impact of my actions early in my career, even though that was well before he knew me.  I was then able to convey the strategic-level impact of my actions through the bullets on my applicant profile.  It was incredible.  It was personal confirmation in my heart that I was indeed doing what I was supposed to do.
The last decision I had to make were my five AFSC preferences.  At first I was going to stay with IT so I chose Cyber.  From there it was a matter of removing what I didn’t want to do.  I wasn’t excited about rejoining Security Forces, and I wanted to avoid maintenance and flight line jobs, so that basically left Intel and the financial field.  My college and degree is not ABET accredited and my coursework was not heavy in math and science, so that removed the engineering and science fields.  I decided on Cyber, Intel, Contracting, Acquisitions, and Finance in that order.  I really didn’t want the latter three because I really didn’t want to know where the government’s money goes, and I am not a money person.  Toward the end of the application process, I began to reconsider my options.  Like I said my job supports the Ops world so I began to wonder if that was something I wanted to do.  I reviewed the degree requirements for 13S and technically I didn’t qualify, but the idea never went away.  I thought about it for several months.
To fill in some back story, my son is absolutely obsessed with space.  It all started with a book we read him when he was one called On the Moon.  The book is a great book, it tells the story of Apollo 11 astronauts landing on the moon.  From there for my son it evolved into rockets, space shuttles, the moon, astronauts, and the international space station.  From the age of three he could name the nomenclature of the Saturn V and Apollo space vehicles, and recognize Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, and Michael Collins’ from there mission photo.  As I began to realize how “into it” he actually was, I continued processing my AFSC options.  I started asking questions and learned about every aspect of the 13S field.  I learned about Air Force Space Command and how they maintain the overall satellite constellations, and how they prevent collisions in space.  I also learned the Air Force still plays a role in the spacelift programs at Cape Canaveral and Vandenberg.  The more I learned, the more I wanted in.  I realized life as a cyber officer was not the life I wanted like I thought it was.  I also realized my prior experience with Command and Control of Security Forces troops combined with my technical experience in comm, especially when considering my exposure to the Ops world, fit perfectly into the 13S career field.
The only minor problem I had was technically my degree did not meet the STEM requirements (at the time) for the 13S career field.  Regardless, Space Ops became my number one choice, I incorporated my desire to become a space officer in my personal statement, and I concluded AFPC didn’t firmly enforce the STEM requirement.  In the end I was selected for 13S and they removed the STEM requirement a month or so after results were released.
I spoke in detail about the rest of the application process for me in other posts, so I won’t expand on that here.  What I will say is seeing my entire record on paper helped me see how all of the different events in my life and career truly culminated at submitting an application for OTS and becoming an officer.  I believe we are all part of a bigger picture and it is our job to discover how we fit, and what our true purpose is here on Earth.  I also believe part of my role now is to help you to discover your own personal role, and if it is to become an officer through OTS, to help you fulfill it.  I wish everyone the best of luck and hope you find something useful in this blog.